| There goes the fear. |
[Thursday, November 19th, 2009
@ 11:32am] |
I so wanted today to be a GOOD day, and I know it's not too late to turn it around, but I am learning to not ignore my feelings but to listen to what they are telling me and to embrace them. I wish I could remember good memories and things people say to me. But ALL I can remember, and all that I dream about, and the things that play over and over on repeat in my head is everything nasty ever said to me and ever done to me. Always on repeat, always.
I can't stop crying.
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| The worlds cutest cookie. |
[Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
@ 4:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gloomy |
] |
MMMM.. Macaroons, Need a delicious vegan recipe ASAP.
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[Sunday, November 1st, 2009
@ 9:12pm] |
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"One of the penalties of an ecological education is that one lives alone in a world of wounds" - Aldo Leopold.
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[Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
@ 6:00pm] |
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I do not understand myself, and I really fucking hate it.
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| Can introverted be my mood on this thing? |
[Sunday, October 18th, 2009
@ 9:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
" 'All our life is lived provisionally,' he said. 'We think that for the time being things are bad, that for the time being we must adapt ourselves, even humiliate ourselves but that is all just temporary, and that one day life, real life, will begin. We get ready to die, still complaining that we have never really lived. Sometimes I am obsessed with the idea that we have only one life and spend the whole of it living provisionally, waiting for real life to being. And thus time passes. Nobody lives in the present. Nobody has any profit from his daily life. Nobody can say: On that day, on that occasion, my life began. Even those who enjoy all the advantages of belonging to the governmental party have to live by intrigue, and are thoroughly nauseated by the dominant stupidity. They too live provisionally and spend their lives waiting.' "
- Bread And Wine
By Ignazio Silone
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[Friday, August 14th, 2009
@ 10:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
please please please... |
] |
I wish that I had patience.
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| Please attend! |
[Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
@ 5:56pm] |
This is a benefit show for andy gomez; his mother passed away last week and the medical/funeral expenses are piling up. all proceeds from this show will go directly to andy and his family in their time of need.
please please please tell everyone you know to attend this show. the show was put together very quickly and with so little time, we need all the help we can get. repost this flier everywhere and spread the word in whatever capacity you can.
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| Good times for a change. |
[Monday, March 9th, 2009
@ 9:24pm] |
|
Good times for a change
See, the luck Ive had
Can make a good man
Turn bad
So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time
Havent had a dream in a long time
See, the life Ive had
Can make a good man bad
So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time
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[Monday, February 16th, 2009
@ 12:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nauseated |
] |
HELLLLLOOOOO.
I have so much going on in my head right now.
get the fuck out.
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| I tagged you! |
[Saturday, December 6th, 2008
@ 1:24pm] |
5 things in my purse (Old black hobo from UO)
1. rosebud salve
2. my wallet
3. marc jacobs heart shaped compact mirror
4. photobooth pictures of john and i.
5. two random books.
5 things in my room (we're moving soon so it's already getting all packed up)
1. california king bed! with my quilty and various other blankies because John can't share.
2. books.
3. lots of clohtes everywhere.
4. antique jewelry box.
5. a lot of art work, some framed photos, and weird wooden vintage paintings.
5 things I’ve always wanted to do
1. Travel a ton.
2. own a nice marc jacobs bag.
3. Marry John. done!
4. Own a house. Done!
5. be happy in my heart and in my head. My heart is happy, my head and i struggle.
5 things that make me very happy:
1. John O'Hagan.
2. Sadie and Emma.
3. Hangouts with Aaron and Zoe.
4. out of town friends.
5. hot tea on cold mornings.
5 best friends:
1. I love them all dearly, but my mom is number one.
2.
3.
4.
5.
5 things I’m currently into
1. hot yoga and the stair climber, amazing.
2. Reading a ton.
3.Saving money.
4. Vinyl.
5. dresses with tights and boots/wedges.
5 Impressions of Danielle (the person who tagged me!)
1. She has a contagious smile.
2.She is always herself, she makes me giggle a lot.
3. Inspiring.
4. She is the cutest ever.
5. Smart!
i am tagging 5 people (you need to fill this out and tag another 5 people!)
1. Zoe
2. Melissa.
3. SARAH W.
4. Anita
5. Claudia.
Yay! Something to keep me busy while waiting for the boys to get home from the gun show.
Not like muscles, but real guns.
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[Monday, November 17th, 2008
@ 4:04pm] |
Obviously, this song has special meaning to me since I walked down the aisle to it at my wedding. And it's so fitting.
But how sweet and lovely is this video?
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[Thursday, November 13th, 2008
@ 9:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
BANE was amazing lastnight. Tonight will be fantastic as well, I just need to get through the work day! :p
We're coming back, we're coming back
We're coming back to you
We're never gonna go away again
Hold on a little longer, try a little harder
'Til we're arm in arm together to the end
So remember, out there somewhere
You've got a friend, and you'll never walk alone again
Don't get worried, don't get scared
We're fighting to get there
Never doubt we're gonna get through
We're gonna run, we're gonna crawl, kick down every wall
It won't be long we're coming back to you
We're coming back, we're coming back
We're coming back to you
We're never gonna go away again
Hold on a little longer, try a little harder
'Til we're arm in arm together to the end
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[Sunday, October 5th, 2008
@ 11:56am] |
Last night definitley sucked. I don't freak out when I deal with shitty people at work six days a week, because I do it all the time, and I'm good at what I do, and I can handle it. But I have never worked anywhere more unorganized and more unprofessional than at the copper door. New menu is a bust. It's not even that the items on it are bad, it's just that the kitchen can not keep the ingredients that they need STOCKED. There's always at the very least twelve items on the 86'd list. AT LEAST. Any other place I have worked at, if we run out of something in the kitchen, we run to the store to replace it or we will get a delivery ASAP. At the wrap we use a ton of organic produce and we never seem to have a problem with not having enough to go around until the next delivery. I just don't fucking get it. I have looked and felt like an idiot there a number of fucking times, but last night was "the straw that broke the camels back" so to speak. Not to mention retard chef who can not cook meat how the customers order it, and when it gets sent back gets super irritated and makes some shitty comment about how he is going to ruin a perfectly cooked (RARE) piece of meat. FUCK OFF. There are so many people in that kitchen prepping and cooking at all times, it seems a bit ridiculous that sixty percent of my tables have to wait at least a half an hour - to twenty minutes to get the appetizers that they ordered long before they ordered their entrees. And when their entrees do come out, they are missing key ingredients.
So over it. This effects MY tips. The kitchen is getting paid no matter what happens, but I am the one that looks foolish and has to deal with unhappy/unsatisfied customers. Not to mention, at least every other ticket, we are comping meals or giving away free drinks or desserts because the customers were that unhappy with their meals.
I understand that the menu is "new" (it has been out for a little over a month, ha.) but get your shit and your crew together.
UGHHHHH.
Do i stay because it is supposedly going to be peak season soon where i make good hourly and i will start making decent tips? Or do I quit and say fuck it, because they have made me feel/look stupid long enough?
Last night i came home crying my eyes out from having a panic attack, from having to deal with angry customers ALL NIGHT. Literally, not one of my tables were happy with their food. I do my best to smooth over situations with unhappy customers, because that is my job to make sure their experience is a positive one, and i have been in customer service for years, i know what i am doing. But last night nothing i did was good enough. I left my shift early because i started having a panic attack and was shaking and crying. My moron of a boss tried to get me to stay because it wasn't fair to leave my closing duties on other people. (Even though, he has let other girls leave for having headaches.) Anyways, I just feel pissed off today.
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| over it. |
[Friday, September 26th, 2008
@ 4:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
My friends look out for me
Like my extended family
They always have my back, right or wrong
Despite our differences
I even gave you money to live
After everyone had written you off, right or wrong.
You were a fairweather friend
You didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again
Fairweather friend, you didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again.
I always had a weak spot for you
You only needed me when it was convenient
I learn now, don't let people in my life so fast
Cause' they never last
I find my childhood friends are the ones I can depend on.
Cause everyone has a past, right or wrong.
You were a fairweather friend
You didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again
Fairweather friend, you didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again.
We don't need friends like you
We don't need friends like you
We don't need friends like you
Right or Wrong
You were a fairweather friend
You didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again
Fairweather friend, you didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again.
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[Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
@ 8:30pm] |
|
out here
i can barely see my breath
surrounded
by jealousy and death
i can't be reached
i've only had one call
dragged underneath
seperate from you all
this time
i've lost my own return
in spite of
everything i've learned
i hid my tracks
spit out all my air
slipped into cracks
stripped of all my cares
i'm so tired
sheep are counting me
no more struggle
no more energy
no more patient
you can write that down
it's all too crazy
i'm not sticking 'round
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iheartyourdeath's journal
nostalgic